How I Spent My Gap Year
In 2012, I graduated from high school, and never have I been so confused about what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. High school doesn’t necessarily prepare you for such choices. I mean, it’s a serious commitment. You basically commit to a specific path for the rest of your life (ok for a good, important few years at least). It is also an expensive choice because you spend at least 3 years at college if you decide to pursue a diploma or degree.
December 2012 was a pretty intense period, especially as my peers seemed certain about the fields they wanted to pursue. There I was, as confused and lost as ever. I didn’t know all my options, and I didn’t know what I was passionate about, I hardly knew whom I was. Other than that, I didn’t do so well academically, I got university acceptance grade but I had wanted to do better. I was especially bummed with mathematics, I really wanted to do well in that subject, but it did not reciprocate. Needless to say, I had not applied to attend any institution. So I opted to take a gap year.
A gap year is something you take after high school to gain some experience before deciding what to study at college. Taking a gap year has been in the news these past few years as high profile teenagers have taken gap years, think Malia Obama, Yara Shahidi and Ming Lee Simmons. These American teens have gone on to amazing and enriching experiences before heading back on to college.
2013. I honestly had no plan about what I was going to do during the gap year; I was just a confused 19 year old. I actually think my parents were worried about the direction that my life was headed. I was too. All I knew was that I wanted to improve my math score, because I didn’t know I could get into varsity without a math grade. And then I convinced myself that I needed to do a BCom to get a decent job. I just assumed all the courses, which were BCom related, needed a good math grade, and they did, and that is what I thought I wanted to do. So I registered to retake 12th grade math, and in the meantime I was working for Verimark at Makro as a salesperson. Not long into the job, I was fired; I mean I knew nothing about selling gym equipment.
Because I had no specific goals as to how I would spend the year, it was pretty much ‘anything goes’. Fast forward, I started my tertiary journey 5 years later after I left high school. Crazy right? Not really, but I couldn’t have asked for a different journey today. Although at the time it may not have felt like it, today I’m somebody who is certain about who they are and what I want to accomplish.
Here are some things that My Gap Year(s) taught me:
It’s okay to not know – you’re only about 18 when you graduate from high school, and I commend those who knew exactly what they wanted to pursue straight after high school, but it’s okay if you don’t know. Being that young you have time on your side, and stupid or silly mistakes are allowed. But you must never get comfortable being in this position; it should be a temporary state. This is where you should do most of your research about topics you’re interested in, not just subjects or courses, what you find yourself speaking about the most, your passion, what makes you light up when you think or do it. What kind of conversation arouses emotion and passion when speaking? Do as much reading as possible; educate yourself, even if you aren’t officially enrolled in a formal institution. This was the time when I took the opportunity to read the book Rich Dad Poor Dad, by Robert Kiyosaki, and it was when I entered my first awakening stage. Awakening in a sense that there is a lot more knowledge in the world to be acquired that we will not necessarily learn at school.
Pressure is good – it is inevitable that if you ever find yourself in a predicament similar to mine that you will feel the pressure. It will come at you from in from all directions. Transform this negative feeling into something positive. Pressure should drive you to want to do and be more. So even if you enroll for a diploma/degree that you are not 100% sure with, it’s okay. What pressure should do is keep the fire and desire to grow at a constant, but then that fire and desire should be from within yourself, not external, otherwise you will burn out trying to satisfy others. This was a hard lesson I learned when I enrolled in 2015 then later dropped out in May 2015. Basically, I quickly burnt out, I enrolled for a course because I felt pressured to start studying and I enrolled for a course I thought guaranteed me employment when I was it was not anything I enjoyed at the time. But it was only after that experience that I slowly uncovered my passion for a certain cause. A cause that is external to my own satisfaction. And that is what is really important. What and who are you about? This is a constant undying fire.
Take this time to learn about yourself – My biggest lesson to self here was that, “If I Don’t Know Who I Am, People Will Tell Me Who To Be”; obviously I was not okay with this. So I took this period to learn about many truths, including my true self. This has been by far my most personally challenging experience, lonely and depressive. I was confused about a lot of things, and decided to take time taking them on, one by one. Once I was on this journey I slowly started meeting people who made sense, who spoke my language. This ultimately gave me clarity about who I wanted to be, what I wanted to do and whom I wanted to do it for and importantly that I don’t have to try fit into any box of what I think people expect me to be. I still live by this vision it is what motivates me. Finding a purpose higher than myself.
2017, I started varsity. As you have read, a gap year can also take you on an adventure you never subscribed to. But to have a successful gap year and also to limit the time of years spent trying to figure yourself out, set clear intentions about what you wish to achieve during that period. That will make all the difference, setting clear intentions from the onset. Ask yourself important questions like who you are? What drives you? What are passionate about? How would you like to make a difference? What issues do you care about? Also, don’t forget to educate yourself, keep reading and having conversations with people you look up to, there is also a lot to be learnt from the streets of life outside of structured schooling.
- Published in Uncategorized
Easy Cooking with The Lazy Makoti
Our favourite chef, Mogau Seshoene takes us to the kitchen for a quick tutorial on how to prepare the quick and easy Creamy Herby Chicken recipe from her best-selling cook book, The Lazy Makoti.
- Published in Bossing Up, Food, Podcast & Vlog
#BossingUp with The Lazy Makoti
Our favourite chef, Mogau Seshoene speaks to us about her journey in the culinary arts, from teaching her own cooking classes to publishing the country’s best-selling cook book and custom merchandise. The Lazy Makoti is a female project and brand that is dominating a male-dominated industry. Who better to inspire young women to stand up and take control of their future?
You can follow Mogau on social media:
- Instagram: @thelazymakoti
- Facebook: The Lazy Makoti
- Twitter: @thelazymakoti
- Published in Bossing Up, Career Guidance, Entrepreneurship, Podcast & Vlog
Speaking My Mother Tongue – A 2019 Resolution
My name is Simile Isizwe Sama Qwabe, Asimbonge Gumede. As you can tell, I am a Zulu girl. But I am incompetent in my mother tongue. Yes, I am what people refer to as a coconut. But I assure you I do not want to be white. My dark skin is beautiful and my dread locks are strong. So how did this happen? I went to a private school my entire life, from grade 00 to matric. I even went to a white creche. My teachers urged my mother to speak to me in English, to push my proficiency to that of my peers and by the time my mother switched back to isiZulu, I had forgotten sentence construction. So, I understand Zulu and speak broken Zulu. Now that I am out of school, completed my degree and officially adulting, I want to be fluent in isiZulu. Speaking predominantly English is not worth the hype. Girls, embrace your home language.
First of all, I am judged for showing off my level of education. Also, people think I think I am better. Like how white people, at times, think they’re better than black people. I am also perceived to look down on my culture, as language and culture go hand in hand. I was always acutely aware that I was black, being the only one in class. I do not think I am white. So, I want to better represent myself as an African. One of my dreams is to write an isiZulu poem.
The world is changing. I learnt this in my politics lectures, Europe and America are not the super powers they used to be. We already know that China is an economic powerhouse. For better or for worse, China is looking at Africa for trade relations.
Furthermore, being successful in life isn’t dictated by your socio-economic class anymore. More and more Africans from ‘disadvantaged’ backgrounds are making it, and I need to improve my networking potential. I believe I will make more money conducting business in isiZulu and English as opposed to just English.

Nelson Mandela said, “If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart”. And girl, I need a man okurrr. I need to be having heart to heart conversations with my future boo. Jokes aside, I want to improve the intimacy of my relationships in general.
Do not think that you are less than because you grew up in black areas. African languages are beautiful and sophisticated. Being proud of your roots, is strength and it is a spiritual resource that we should not forsake in contemporary South Africa.
- Published in Bossing Up