Many of us, especially in the black community, grew up hearing the following phrases about money:
“Money doesn’t grow on trees” “Money is the root of evil”
Our thinking, understanding and feelings about money are shaped by scarcity, and you are also seen as a person of a wanton character if you declare that you like and want money and want financial security, especially as a female.
Our cultures also make it seem like money and having wealth is a male thing and that females should not seek financial wealth and security, and even today, women get called all kinds of negatives names if they declare that they want to make money.
Clearly, many of us need to change how we think and feel about money. Financial expert, Suze Orman says that fear, shame and anger are the most common emotions people have on money.
Suze Orman goes on to say “People do not have a clue at all, they think the reason they are an emotional wreck is because they have no money. They honestly think that if they had money they would have fewer problems. The problem is that it’s not true. The reason they don’t have money is because of how they feel about their life and who they are. Who you are determines what you have and get to keep. You define your money. You define the things around you. But money and the things around you can never truthfully define who you are.”
Emotions Shape Our World
How do you feel when you find that your bank account is running low? Panic, fear, regret, shame?
How do you feel when you have a lot of money? Important, powerful arrogant?
Our lives are based on and shaped by our emotions including money. A change in your financial situation starts with your mindset, yes, and also your emotions around money. Examining your emotional relationship with money can help you understand your feelings and behaviours. We all have an emotional relationship with money
We are energetic beings and everything in the universe is energy, this is the first law of existence. Money is an energy of exchange and emotions are energy in motion. When people exchange money for goods or services, they are having a business or financial relationship tied by both their knowledge about money and their emotions. Money is a symbol of relationships, and the way you deal with money is the same way you deal with your relationships.
The truth is that the problem isn’t money. The problem is how we approach money, how we think about it and how we handle money, how we experience money and how we feel about money. According to research, approximately 90% of what we do with our money is based on emotions and only 10% on the knowledge of how money works. Our Emotions give meaning to our experiences, and our experiences create our reality.
When it comes to energy, like attracts like. So if you have negative emotions when it comes to money, then you will most likely either repel money or never really feel financially secure no matter how much money you make, and feeling any form on insecurity gives rise to negative feelings and experiences.
How Do You See Yourself?
Some say how much you earn is directly linked to your self-worth, self-confidence and your ability to manage your emotions and this enhances emotions that attract success such as motivation, happiness, gratitude etc.
A simple thing such as your saving habits can be pushed by how you feel, for example does it give you joy to save or not, if it is something you like doing or not. We were taught that we need to be saving, however many times we know we should do something which, will be good for us but don’t do it, this is based on how we feel about that thing. If we have negative feelings about that thing then we will most likely go against advice given do the complete opposite. For instance if saving makes you feel guilting, angry or scared you will run out of money, chances are you won’t do it even though you know you should.
According to research, people who believe that money is something within their control, are more likely to be successful at making and growing money and becoming financially secure. Instead of complaining about the lack thereof, they educate themselves about money.
Financial intelligence is the basis for growing wealth. There are multiple studies worldwide that have proven a direct correlation between increased financial literacy and increased financial success. Changing our financial behaviour to benefit us is something we should all strive to do; this means finding out what our emotional and mindset blockage is in relation to money and finding solutions to change or remove the blockages.
Our financial behaviour is also based on our past experiences and growing up, how our parents spoke, felt and spent money in our presence. Growing up did anybody teach us about money, the importance of it? How to use it? Did anybody teach us about budgeting/saving from a young age? All these factors contribute to how we deal with money as adults. Our experiences with money, having to borrow from people, loan sharks or the bank, debt etc.
According to research how you feel about something or someone will determine whether that relationship will be positive or negative. Our emotions connect us to the people and world around us. How you feel about money will determine how you deal with it, what you do with it and how much of it comes in. Your mindset and your emotions need to work together to ensure you have a successful and positive financial journey. Speak positivity into your finances.
Which Money Script Do You Run On?
“Money script” is the concept coined by psychologists Bradley Klontz and Ted Klontz that describes our beliefs in relation to money. These script are usually unconscious and programmed into us from childhood and are often not completely true. Klontz determined four dominant money scripts, Money Avoidance; Money Worship; Money Status and Money Vigilance:
- Money Avoidance – believing money is bad, and that those that have money are bad people or unethical people. Money is a source of anxiety, fear and disgust if you fall into this category.
Undoing This Script – See money as a tool and an energy of exchange, and see it as morally neutral.
- Money Worship – believing money solves all problems and results in happiness and fulfillment. People falling under this category can become workaholics and also compulsive spenders because they believe wealth and its display is happiness
Undoing This Script – “money can’t buy happiness” was coined for money worshippers. Remind yourself that money has neutral value and gives fleeting experiences of joy and that happiness is something we experience even when we have nothing.
- Money Status – believing networth is equal to self-worth, money is for showing off even if it means going into debt just to keep up appearances. This category is all about impressing others.
Undoing This Script – Remember nobody is paying attention to you as much as you think they are, do things that make your heart sing, make you deeply happy.
- Money Vigilance – believing that money must be saved and be frugal. They have finances in order. Think Scrooge in the movie. They fear spending money unnecessarily and losing money.
Undoing This Script – Usually this script is not hurting their finances but their relationships
Sometimes scripts overlap. Be honest with reflecting on yourself and how you can change the script so you achieve and maintain financial security as well as deep-rooted happiness.
Money and financial abundance is something we can all have and have the right to have, we need to make sure we hold the right emotions and mindset about it.
Hair, like skin, like everything else in our bodies is complex. No two humans have the same head of hair and therefore it is important for each person to understand their hair and what works for it.
The one thing all naturally curly hair has in common is that it is dry and craves moisture. But not all 4c hair responds to the same products or hair routine, for example. Aside from curl type, another distinguishing factor is hair porosity.
Porosity refers to the ability of water or moisture to move in through hair. Highly porous hair, is hair where moisture moves in and out easily. Low porosity hair is hair that does not let water, moisture in easily but once moisture is in, it does not leave hair easily. Once moisturized properly, low porosity hair stays moisturized for longer.
Hair is dead cells are arranged in a three-layer pattern:
- The cuticle is the outermost layer of your hair. It comprises individual cuticles that overlap each other, like the tiles on a roof.
- The cortex is the middle and thickest layer. It contains fibrous proteins and pigments that give your hair its color.
- The medulla is the central, innermost layer of the hair shaft.
Low porosity hair, has tightly closed cuticles that overlap with no spaces, and this makes it hard for moisture, water, oils, creams to get into the hair shaft.
Hair porosity is something that is important to know to ensure you use the right products and to use them in the correct order and there are different ways through which to find out what porosity hair is. You can’t tell hair porosity just by looking at hair. Today we discuss low porosity hair.
Characteristics Of Low Porosity Hair?
- Hair feels dry, brittle
- Resistant to water, creams, and oils
- Water beads on hair
- Hair takes long time to dry
- Hair lacks elasticity
- Prone to product build up
When low porosity hair is healthy it can be strong, elastic and shiny as well soft. Once you figure out how to work with your low porosity hair, it can thrive and grow very well. Low porosity does not mean unhealthy.
How To Care For Low Porosity Hair
The main problem with low porosity hair is that product just sits on it, it doesn’t penetrate. So heat-activated moisturising is the way to go for low porosity hair.
- A Hot Oil Treatment works very well for low porosity hair, this can be a prepoo treatment or your deep conditioning treatment, because oils are very nourishing. Apply the oil on damp hair and cover with a plastic cap and sit for an hour or more. The heat from your scalp helps to open up the cuticle and allows the moisture and oil into hair. Wash off and then moisturise using L.C.O.
- Always deep condition by applying conditioner and sitting with it in a covered plastic cap for no less than 30mins. If you can, use a steamer or hooded hair dryer or heated cap. It is also advisable to wash hair with hot water then apply your conditioner.
- Water down your conditioner, mix it with water or apply it whilst hair is very wet, twist hair in sections and the put a plastic cap to deep condition.
- Try the baggy method or green house effect method for moisturising hair. For low porosity hair this is an effective way to moisturise hair, and it is recommended that you dampen hair before applying your favourite moisturizer or leave-in conditioner then put a plastic shower cap. Heat generated by your scalp gets captured in the plastic shower cap and in turns activates cuticles to open up.
- Try the L.C.O Method instead of L.O.C so apply your moisturizer first, then cream and then oil. You can even leave out the cream and just use a moisturizer (leave-in conditioner) and oil. Low porosity hair can be sealed in with an oil most of the time and not a thick butter like high porosity hair.
Humectants like glycerine and honey are really good for low porosity hair as they keep the moisture in. So try adding some glycerine to your leave-in conditioner/moisturizer before sealing with an oil.
By Khanyisile Msebenzi
The Thursday before the lockdown in response to the COVID19 pandemic began in South Africa, I went to Clicks and Dischem looking to buy multivitamins, vitamin c in particular, and the shelves were empty. I panicked a little because I felt quite vulnerable all of a sudden, everybody new to take vitamins and bought them and now I had none, eek!
I eventually found a Vitamin C rich multivitamin and multimineral, but in all honesty, I don’t even know much about Vitamin C, except that we get it from fruits and veggies like citrus fruits and that it is good for preventing cold and flu. But I have totally forgotten my high school biology to really know why some media stories and medical practitioners were recommending 1000mg of Vitamin C a day…1000mg sounds like a lot to me.
Anyway I did some basic reading on Vitamin C, and perhaps this may help you. A quick search on Google showed that in a number of articles there was doubt that Vitamin C could help fight off flu and cold virus, let alone COVID19…so I had to research into medical journals…
Our bodies can’t produce Vitamin C, or ascorbic acid as it is known, and yet we need Vitamin C for important bodily functions, including metabolism and strengthening our immune system. We have to get Vitamin C from food intake and supplements. The foods with high levels of Vitamin C are fruits and vegetables, preferably fruits, where it can’t be cooked out with heat. Most multivitamins and multiminerals have Vitamin C.
Here is table of fruits and veggies with high levels of Vitamin C content:
|Food sources of vitamin C|
|Food (serving size)||Vitamin C (mg)|
|Guava (1 medium)||165|
|Strawberries (1 cup)||98|
|Cantaloupe (¼ medium)||95|
|Papaya (1 medium)||95|
|Bell pepper, red, raw (½ cup)||95|
|Orange juice (¾ cup)||60|
|Kale (1 cup, cooked)||53|
|Broccoli (½ cup, cooked)||50|
|Bell pepper, green, raw (½ cup)||45|
|Tomato juice (1 cup)||45|
|Mango (1 medium)||30|
|Lemon juice (½ cup)||30|
Recommended Adult Daily Intake:
The recommended daily intake for Vitamins C is 65 to 90 milligrams a day, with an upper limit of 2,000mg a day. Vitamin C is water-soluble, so any excess is usually excreted in the urine rather than stored in the body. It’s safe in almost any amount from foods, and supplements in recommended amounts are also regarded as safe for most people.
Benefits of Vitamin C:
- Necessary for growth, development and repair of all body tissues
- Helps to protect cells and keeps them healthy
- Needed in the formation of collagen
- Assists in maintaining healthy skin, blood vessels, bones, cartilage, teeth
- Helps with wound healing
- Helps strengthen the immune system
- Helps the body absorb Iron
Lack of vitamin C can lead to:
- Bleeding gums
Studies have shown that dietary rather than supplemental sources of vitamin C are more effective in keeping blood pressure in check.
What happens if I take too much vitamin C?
Taking large amounts more than 1,000mg per day, say 2,000 or 3,000mg a day of vitamin C can cause:
- stomach pain
People with chronic liver or kidney conditions, gout, or a history of calcium-oxalate kidney stones should take no more than 1,000 mg a day.
These symptoms should disappear once you stop taking vitamin C supplements.
Does Vitamin C Assist In Fighting Off Cold & Flu?
Yes it does! “Vitamin C helps the immune system work well in order to protect the body from diseases,” Dr. Ross tells Bustle. A study in Nutrients in 2017 found that vitamin C is essential to many aspects of our immune system, including killing off microbes and producing B- and T-cells, which are both key parts of our immune response. People with vitamin C deficiency, the study noted, tend to have impaired immunity and are more susceptible to infection, and supplementing with vitamin C can help prevent respiratory infections — like the flu. The more effective our immune systems are, the better they’re able to fight off the flu virus.
Overall, reported flu and cold symptoms in the test group decreased 85% compared with the control group after the administration of megadose Vitamin C.
Vitamin C in megadoses administered before or after the appearance of cold and flu symptoms relieved and prevented the symptoms in the test population compared with the control group.
I am taking between 1000 and 2000mg of Vitamin C in trying to ensure that if I happen to catch a cold, flu or COVID19, I experience mild symptoms. And as a disclaimer, I am not likening or inferring that COVID19 is a flu.
LEARNING AND PUTTING SELF DISCIPLINE BEFORE MOTIVATION AND PROCRASTINATION
I have big dreams for my life, even as a 15 year-old in Grade 11, I have ideas of the things I want to do and achieve, and I am not about to let this prolonged school holiday/lockdown, trip me up. And unlike my younger siblings, my parents are not checking up on my school work or keeping track of it, they just pass comments that show they expect good grades from, eek! This period has been a test of my self-discipline.
Self-discipline, a few people have it, a lot need it and some can’t do without it. All successful people have it. It is habit. It is that voice you programme into yourself that wakes you up in the morning from your cozy bed when you are tired (from watching movies past midnight) and lazy, pushing you to go study and work.
One of the first mistakes I made in my early high school life was to confuse DISCIPLINE with MOTIVATION but eventually, I got lucky enough to realize early that there actually is a very big difference between the two when my school marks started reflecting those “homework not done” stamps and yet I thought I had enough motivation. Yes motivation and discipline work hand in hand but you will not always be motivated which, is why you must learn to be disciplined. I am working to be disciplined.
Discipline. It is one of those things in life that are very hard to achieve and once you do, it is as good as unlocking the next level on Candy Crush the game. It gives you the freedom to achieve even much greater things in life, so I am learning. I hate it when my father is right.
School has always been relatively easy for me when I keep up with schoolwork, do my homework and don’t fall behind. Grade 11 is an important year because it is used to get early acceptance into university instead of waiting until Grade 12 results are out, I don’t want that stress. I don’t know if I fear that stress from myself, because I have big plans, or from my father! Either way, I want to make sure Grade 12 has less pressure by making sure I do very well in Grade 11.
We all hit a wall at some point and might end up losing motivation to pick things up where we left them and continue, but if we try to create healthy habits and discipline ourselves to follow through we will achieve 10 times better in results. That is why when we were told school was going to be cut shorter and our holidays extended longer, I most definitely knew that there was a catch which, was sort of like one of those tests that will tell with our June exam marks whether we studied and stayed disciplined or chose to be a bag of potatoes that did nothing but sit and watch TV.
To be honest, the first week of my initial holiday, I was that bag of potatoes, there was nothing in the pantry that I didn’t eat, the TV remote buttons even stopped working to show how much time I spent watching TV!
And my books probably started getting dusty as I didn’t even bother with them. I would wake up…look at them on my study table and look the other way as if I never saw them. That was normal, I mean, I was still on holiday after all.
Then the second week came when schools were supposed to open. That tense, nervous drum in my heart started beating. (du Dum du Dum du Dum). That moment we all haven’t been waiting for was finally here but guess what, PROCRASTINATION also rolled in. That form of stress relief that occurs when we feel overwhelmed, it is just a pattern or habit and as such, it can be broken…or CAN IT?
‘’I will do that chapter tonight as I burn the midnight oil’’ I’d say to myself.
“WHAT MIDNIGHT OIL?” the Good Angel on my right shoulder would ask?
“Yea all the snacks and fatty stuff I have been eating during the day while chilling in the sitting room, UHM sure. “
When teachers started sending online work, and the class WhatsApp groups started getting active as my classmates and teachers interacted, my nerves got really shot. All the work started being sent to us through email as promised by the teachers got received, and it was a lot, I realized I have dug a very deep hole for myself by losing discipline. The teachers were committed to ensuring they keep on their teaching plans, and from experience, I know that once I fall behind my grades will suffer. I had totally ignored the fact that I actually have goals that I had set and I most definitely cannot let all of that go to waste because of the bad habits I developed lately, in short, I pulled my socks up and remembered that I am a GIRLBOSS and I CAN do this!
- I started with slow measures such as changing the time I wake up and slept, just to get my mind back into that daily school learner routine that I was used to doing. This all happened on the 3rd day of that 2nd week of “school”, luckily enough by the 5th day my body and mind was sort of getting used to that programme. I was over a week behind!
- I then figured out that before anything at all, I should write out and plan how I am going to work going forward. I decided to draw out a time table as they would at school but this time around one that suited me and also sort of increased my break times by a few more minutes.
- I also made it a point to structure my timetable to start with the subjects I enjoy the least or those that are more challenging, I have more energy in the mornings. It feels like such an achievement getting through the subjects I lest enjoy or find challenging that I am more hyped to get through the subjects I do enjoy.
- I also combine learning with studying. So I kill two birds with one stone. I don’t rush through my work and I learn and practise and apply all at the same time so that I don’t have to study much in the evenings.
- I also started listing things I would like to do in my personal time because school obviously didn’t go on for the whole day. That is why I am able to continue intern at www.girlboss.co.za
- I also did a SWOT analysis, crazy right?! but it will sure be worth it in the end. Just like almost everyone would say, my phone seemed to be the biggest “threat”, excluding food and TV. LUCKILY for “it” I had made five minute slots to use it whenever I finished a chapter in a certain subject and made it seem like a ‘REWARD’.
There were many other things that had to be adjusted during this period of time, and because I have taught myself discipline, it feels like I moved a feather. Luckily too, the lockdown rules and regulations, distractions have become few and I never worry about missing out on anything besides schoolwork because there’s nothing much going on out “there”. It all started with me realizing what I wanted, how I plan to achieve it and if I was willing to achieve it. All I am waiting for right now is to just prove that hard work really does pay off, this will all make sense when I write my midyear exam in June.