The History of Polyandry and Should SA Legalise it
The History of Polyandry and should SA legalise it?
The recent polyandry debate has ignited robust debate all over the country, in parliament and social media alike. Last month the Department of Home Affairs gazetted a green paper for the Marriage Act in which one of the proposals was the addition of polyandry into the legal marriages permitted in South Africa. On one side the argument being that it is in line with the principles of equality before the law, as men are permitted to take more than one wife under customary law in a polygamous arrangement. On the other hand, those who oppose the introduction of polyandry argue that it is against cultural norms and religious practices. The main issue being, how will children be identified? How will we know which man fathered which child? Either DNA tests will have to be administered or will a matriarchal head change how surnames are given to the children? The other issue raised was which man will have the priority conjugal rights? What if more than one husband would like to be intimate with their shared wife? However, in our postmodern feminist understanding this problem is easily solved; whomever the woman chooses. The green paper however, is just a proposal and open for public commentary until the 30thof June 2021.
So what is the history of Polyandry
The word polyandry comes from Greek where “poly” means many and andros denotes “man”. It is one of three marriages involving multiple spouses in a polygynous agreement. The second being the more common, polygamy in which a man has chosen to take many wives and third, a group marriage where the multiple men marry multiple wives, all members being sexually available to one another. This type of marriage is not exclusively heterosexual.
Historically polyandry has occurred in communities where resources such as farmland are scarce. Therefore the most common kind of this union is fraternal polyandry, in which one woman marries brothers. In this case it is better for the family to keep the farmland together and not be split into smaller unsustainable units if the brothers were to have separate households. This kind of polyandry was practiced by people living on the plains of Tibet, though the practice has been outlawed since the Chinese occupation.
Polyandry is also practiced informally by the Bari people of Venezuela where there is a cultural understanding of multiple fatherhood. It is customary for a child to have two fathers as both these men have entered into intimate relations with the mother and are known as her legitimate and socially accepted lovers. In this case the child’s chances for survival are improved with the concept of shared fatherhood.
Polyandry has also been known to be practiced in some parts of India, Sri Lanka, Nepal, Nigeria, Tanzania, Kenya and Brazil.
Will polyandry make women more free?
The institution of marriage is a central custom that organises how the family is structured in society. This, in turn, influences how society is organised. The addition of polyandry to legal marriages would blow the roof off of the man being the central authority in marriage and therefore society.
We live in a patriarchal society, both locally and globally. This bill directly challenges that notion and gives women the power to be the central figure in a polygynous marriage. Will this right extend to women being seen as traditional leaders with equal power in customary settings? I think if we were to seriously consider polyandry it would mean incorporating it into our customary law as a variant of polygamy.
Complexity within the feminist perspective
City Press’s (23/05/2021) Maggie Modipa argues that the introduction of polyandry under the equal rights principles enshrined in the constitution, would be a distraction to the real woman empowerment issues faced in the country. These include economic disparity, female unemployment, fair access to education and gender based violence. She argues that the “polyandry proposal trivialises [the] women’s struggle” in our country. She goes on to say that Ma Charlotte Maxeke would roll over in her grave if in the year intended to honour her saw “her most cherished dreams… deferred and distracted by the polyandry debate.”
In conclusion
It’s no doubt that people have become increasingly more open about dating multiple people with topics of side chicks and side baes trending on twitter. Women dating multiple men is a part of our reality. Perhaps polyandry would be a natural continuation of that. Personally I do think monogamy is more harmonious. But it is interesting to see how leadership will be socially constructed with the introduction of a traditional matriarchal head of a polygynous family.
- Published in Girl Talk, Politics, Real Life Stories
A Simple Guide on How to Monetize your Blog
So you’ve officially started your blog website, and you now can call yourself a blogger or vlogger or podcaster or content creator! Congratulations to you because this is a big step towards becoming your own boss and owning your own brand with your own content in it. You are a content creator and this can create ample opportunity for you. This is definitely a moment to be proud of yourself because the world is in need of more creators, and actually, who knew that you could one day become your own boss sharing transformative content that comes easy to you with the rest of the world.
Building quality content and content that will capture your audience is key to having a successful blog. You will need to capture and keep your audience, which will become your tribe. Your tribe are your most loyal followers, who believe and trust in what you have to say and share with them, they share your content and convert others to be your followers. Hence it is imperative that you niche your blog in such a way that you become an expert of whatever field inspired you to blog but don’t box yourself in. This is when you are also able to become an influencer, and brands love working with influencers who have an existing tribe and whose opinion is valued.
When you are a content creator, you are actually an influencer. Whether you call yourself an influencer or not is a different story. When you create content for others to consume you are a person of influence and you want people to be influenced by you in one way or the other.
Build Your Tribe
Through that you may attract the attention of all kinds of brands who are looking for both micro and macro influencers, this is an opportunity for you to grow and to expand. Your social media accounts should be all about your brand however, make sure that there is a connection between you and your prospective tribe. Engage with your audience constantly, reply to comments and direct messages, let them know that you are more than just your brand you are a real human that they can also relate to and who is an expert and is passionate about the space you are in. Besides from engaging your audience, get them involved and invested in you and the information you share, so that they are always eager for your posts and are eager to be involved or take action when you ask them to. Increasing engagement improves your analytics on social media platforms as well as on your website. Importantly, brands and followers will like you for being yourself, that is the best way to grow your following as well as to stand out.
Visuals Matter!
Keep your Instagram page as attractive as possible, take up some courses if you must on how to organize and make your page both visually appealing and attractive in terms of content. Always make sure that your stories are up to date so that your audience follows you. Your audience will always be interested in everything that you are doing and if you are not posting on your feed at least your audience knows that you are still engaging with them. You post on your stories anything that you may not see fit to go onto your feed.
If you are using video, invest in a quality smart phone with a good camera or buy a video camera. The quality of your videos must be crisp and sharp. Also pay attention to your sound. Developing distinct visuals such as your intro to your videos is also important and makes you stand out and people appreciate the effort. Remember you are competing for attention of the same audiences who could be following any content creator in the world!
Plan Your Content
When taking up content creation you have to plan your content well including your posts and how they relate to the main reason you are respected as a content creator. There are some aspects of being a content creator on the online or digital space that you may have to outsource such as Search Engine Optimisation (SEO). Planning content is key because it makes it easy for your audience to know what to look out for. If you usually release a video on a Monday and then you skip a week, that will affect your engagement as well as your analytics. Planning helps you stay consistent and it also helps free up time. There are many tools and platforms you can use to create content and also schedule content. Scheduling content also frees up your time and helps you generate consistent content.
Your Website Is Your Homebase!
Your content is what may set you apart from other bloggers. This relates to how well you write or relay your stories through other audio-visual means and what you write or tell stories about or how differently you tell a story compared to others. When it comes to monetization, offering ad space for other brands to advertise their services or products on your platform will not only shoot up your SEO but it will bring in the coins. However, to make this happen, brands will want to see traffic that is consistent and traffic that grows on your website. Drawing in traffic is where most bloggers get stuck. Analytics are your sales pitch to brand collaborations, especially at this time where many buy followers.
Driving your audience from your YouTube or any other social media space to your website is key to driving traffic, however you need to be highly convincing or influential. Brands want to work with people or other brands that are constantly thriving. Your website can also help you collect data about your followers, readers and tribe. Growing your email list means that you have something sell outside of just using social media. Your website is your real estate, whereas on social media you are at the mercy of social media platform.
Give Back!
Competitions, collaborations and giveaways are a great way to grow and expand your audience, people love to participate in what they think are free gifts and this will in turn benefit you immensely. Your followers feel as though they benefit even more by supporting your work as a content creator. Participating in collaborations will give you the much needed exposure, especially if you collaborate with a person or brand that already has an existing audience, this is a great way to introduce yourself and what your offer. Competitions are a great investment, as it is a great way to gain followers.
Don’t Box Yourself In!
For your blog to be successful and in order to monetize you need to put in the work and effort required. No post is a wasted posted, trust that at least one person will see it. Also, make it more than just getting paid, because if you follow this guideline and do more research, that is inevitable. You need to bring content that people are yearning for, content that is different and content that is exciting, engaging and empowering. There will never be too many content creators, just choose a niche that has a potential to expand into other areas, know your market well. For instance, if you want to be a content creator in the natural hair space, it is a crowded space and you have to have a different approach that makes you stand out. There are many content creators in this space yet the number of brands to potentially collaborate with and make money from are few in the case of South Africa. However, you can then look at how to make money through having a high number of subscribers and views on YouTube, if that is a platform you choose to use.
But also be aware not to box yourself or to be too niche. Perhaps you like creating natural hair content to help others understand and care for their hair, what else could you possibly expand into without your audience finding it a different or unconvincing departure? If possible, avoid boxing yourself in too much as you start your journey as a content creator.
Know Your Numbers
It is important to be honest with yourself from the onset that you want to make money, this will inform so many of your decisions including whether to have a website or not or to use YouTube or not. How will you monetise your content? How much money do you want to make a month? How much do you need to spend on creating content on a monthly basis such as data, equipment, subscriptions etc. Also speak to other content creators about the magic numbers that have worked for them with regards to analytics so you know the numbers you would like to work towards. And don’t be discouraged if you don’t make the numbers very easily, it takes time and investment to build a following. Knowing your numbers goes hand in hand with knowing your audience as well as the brands you want to collaborate with. For instance, why invest on Instagram when your target audience is mostly on Facebook? Or if the audience of the brands you want to work with are largely users of a different platform than the one you may want to use.
- Published in beauty, Bossing Up, Career Guidance, Entrepreneurship, GIRL TALK, Girl Talk, Money Matters, Pop Culture
Do You Want To Boost Your Productivity & Increase Your Wellness – Practice Yoga
Are you trying to find new ways to improve your memory, gain control over your emotions, and boost your ability to multitask?
A new brain scan study may be just the incentive you need to put yoga at the top of your to-do list.
Yoga is an art, a science and a philosophy that is more than 5,000 years old. It touches the life of humans at every level, physical, mental, and spiritual. It is a practical method for making one’s life purposeful, useful and noble. But it is more than that and that is why it has grown in popularity all over the world.
Even if you are not trying to be spiritual you will definitely benefit from yoga. And yoga can be practised by anybody regardless of age, body size. It is also safe for most diseases and illnesses and can be beneficial for those recovering from injuries.
CLEAR, STRONG MIND
Studies may have found a link between yoga’s movements, meditation and breathing practices and an increase in the size of key brain areas. Those areas are involved in thinking clearly, decision-making, memory and regulating emotions. Science may be leading us into the direction of yoga to being beneficial for healthy brain function.
Collectively, the studies pointed to a link between yoga and increased size in the brain’s hippocampus. Involved in memory and learning, the hippocampus shrinks with age and is the first part of the brain affected by Alzheimer’s and dementia.
KEEP CALM & DO YOGA
Yoga also appeared to expand the amygdala, a brain area involved in emotions; the prefrontal cortex, which is involved in planning and making choices; and the cingulate cortex, which plays an important part in regulating emotions, learning and memory.
Yoga practitioners were also found to fare better on mental performance tests, the study team observed.
In today’s busy and high pressure world, it is important to be able to control our emotions as this helps us to regulate and prevent stress. Yoga is a cure for negative emotions such as anxiety, anger and balances mood swings
FLEXIBLE, BALANCED BODY
Many of us under estimate the importance of stretching, it becomes more important as we grow older. Yoga focuses a lot on flexibility, balance and strength, especially of core muscles. This helps to improve our posture, which is important if you spend a lot of time seated at a desk. Stretching and flexibility and muscle strength prevent injuries such as lower back pains. Stretching and increased flexibility also relieves stress, which can be stored as chemical toxins in our muscles.
AFFORDABLE, FULL BODY EXERCISE
Anyone who does or has tried yoga will tell you that yoga is not easy. Yoga works all muscles, increases muscles strength and increases blood circulation. Most times all you need is a yoga mat. There are plenty free yoga videos on the Internet. A 30mins yoga session will burn around the same amount of calories as a 30mins fast-paced walk. There are also different kinds of yoga practices, some are more physically intense than others, making yoga a good all-round exercise routine for the very unfit to the very fit.
IMPROVED GENERAL HEALTH
Yoga has been scientifically proven to improve health all around. It improves the health of the heart by lowering blood pressure. High blood pressure is the leading cause of heart attacks and strokes. Increasingly, people are starting to develop diseases such as high blood pressure at younger ages. Yoga also decreases inflammation in the body, if left untreated, inflammation can eventually cause cancers.
Yoga improves the quality of sleep. Sleep is a very important aspect of a healthy body. A good amount of sleep a day is important for the body to heal itself and regenerate.
There is still a lot more research that is to be done to find out what it is about yoga that is causing these effects, it would be an easy guess that yoga combines both mind and body, and is thus able to activate numerous pathways.
There is this mentally that yoga is not for men, but it is important to know that Yoga is not for sissies. It is a serious discipline and within this concept is the significant physical and cognitive stimulation.
It is also something you would need to practice repeatedly to get into the swing of things just like any new habit you be introducing to your body. It may be something you enjoy or not but that can only be determined by practising repeatedly. Before you shut down the idea or thought of incorporating yoga to your routine think of the health benefits mentioned.
It is important to try find an activity that is physically and mentally stimulating. It also may not be something you start doing immediately but doing something research around it and its benefits may lead into the right direction and yoga may just be that activity for you.
Coloured People During Black Lives Matter
Only in South Africa has there been dialogue going back and forth regarding the contribution, or lack thereof, of coloured people during the recent Black Lives Matter (BLM) movement. Race is still a very important factor in South Africa. The race conversation is usually a black and white issue, although in South Africa, black includes Indians and Coloureds, the race issue always seems to be Africans and Caucasians. Africans, Indians and Coloureds hardly share views, including on the race issue, this became obvious on social media platforms during the BLM protests.
The BLM movement was first formed in 2013 by founders Alicia Garza, Opal Tometi and Patrisse Cullors, which was described as a network that was which an online platform that came to being to provide activists with a shared set of goals and principles. It is an American born network that has globally shared ideologies as the organization’s platform is described as “A Vision for Black Lives: Policy Demands for Black Power, Freedom and Justice”. It is fixed with six demands one of them being bringing an end to the war on black people. It has become a global movement over the years but is primarily based in the United States of America.
Truthfully, the war on black lives is an ongoing war experienced in all communities of the world where there are black people. It is challenging to imagine that such a war would also exist in African countries, but it does. The war on black bodies is not only limited to physical violence but to all social, political and economic aspects and opportunities, black people all over the world experience systemic and normalized exclusion. On the African continent, the war on black people would have to be defined differently, as it is mostly a war on black people, mostly by other black people, like in the case of xenophobia/afrophobia and our governments. However, the backdrop of this situation in Africa is the colonial structure and beliefs that still inform African politics and economics.
There is no doubt that even in societies like South Africa, where the majority of cops are black, brutality by government officials on black bodies exists, it exists more so between individuals. In the first month of the lockdown in South Africa, at least 11 black men were killed by police or the army. Unfortunately the outrage only manifested on social media platforms, there were no mass protests nor much of a response by government on the issue. Just as I am writing up this article, a news headline just popped up claiming that over 21 300 murders have occurred in South Africa between April 2019 and March 2020. The BLM movement does not necessarily focus on black on black crimes, although the media will claim that there are more black people killing one another than the police killing black people. The issue underlying BLM is the socio-economic conditions created by a racist political system that informs the experiences of black lives.
So George Floyd happened, and the black community ‘lost it’! George Floyd wasn’t a rare case, he was a statistic that accumulates daily in America. The difference is that his brutal death at the knee of a white police man was captured on video and spread through the media, perhaps because there was deafening noise about the way he was killed. Protests emerged over several metro cities in the United States, and the media took cover.
Floyd’s death sparked protests and advocacy for black lives uniting all peoples from all races in the US, as well as other cities across the globe, even during the time when many countries had restrictions due to the COVID19 pandemic. South Africa and Black Twitter were not silent either, and we witnessed most of the world engage in the #blackouttuesday social media protest.
In retrospect, an interesting aspect of the race issue in South Africa emerged. Many black South Africans took to social media about the lack of support during that period that came from the Coloured community. We need to bear in mind that most Coloured people in South Africa do not identify as black, for their own historical and political reasons and experiences, and the black community just needs to accept that. In the South African reality, we are two complete separate races, and this is based on the idea that although black people claim to not have any racial exclusions or ideas of separatism with the coloured community, the coloured community feels like they do, especially when it comes to political matters.
On social media platforms there was tension between the two, as black people argued that the Coloured community deliberately isolates itself when it comes to matters pertaining to race, whereas in other parts of the world, Coloured or mixed race people would be deemed as black. The argument is always that Coloured people seem to think that they are superior to black folks, claiming to be African but not black. The origin of that claim is too complex to be discussed here.
So it kicked off with a social media post from a black female, claiming that the silence of Coloured people during #blacklivesmatter was betrayal, and sure we’ve seen some posts from others claiming the silence during a protest means that you are siding with the oppressors, this goes for anyone. However, the Coloured community came flooding in to defend their community:
1 – It was highlighted that first of all, black South Africans needed to stop thinking that they were America, and that the BLM protests was an American initiative. The Coloured community came in numbers arguing that black people in South Africa were always in a position of privilege in this country, and therefore cannot share the same sentiments as black people in America who are a minority.
I can’t say I agree, in fact not at all, but my opinion is not the issue here, I am just reporting as it happened on social media.
2 – Secondly, the xenophobia/afrophobia argument came up., that black people are ‘racist’ against other black people. SOME black South Africans are always opinionated when it comes to foreign African nationals and their contribution to the South African economy. In most instances it is never in favour or in positive light, especially when they demand that these foreigners return back to their own countries. There are often random splurges of violence against foreign nationals by black people, mostly black people from impoverished communities, who feel as if their opportunities for work have been taken away because of the presence of African nationals. Some cry because of the social ills practiced by some foreign nationals in South Africa, claiming that these social ills are ruining the future generation, hence the on and off of xenophobic events.
I thought this was a valid point, one we need to ponder as black South Africans. How do we point a finger at the Coloured community but not look at how we treat fellow Africans?
3 – Thirdly, it was argued that Coloured people, together with the Indian community, are labeled as black under the South Africa constitution, however they are always sidelined when companies are adhering to BEE stipulations and rules. They continued to argue that black people only call on the Coloured community to join forces with them when it is convenient for them but are openly excluded in instances that could largely benefit black people. There were claims that were shared amongst SOME Coloured folks stating that they are too white to be black and too black to be white and as a result you will never hear of Coloured Lives Matter. It’s all such an interesting argument because if you look across the global map everything with a touch of colour is labeled as mixed race or black. I guess that is where it becomes challenging for black folks to grasp, the simple fact that this is not across the map this is south Africa, and every race is entitled to their own opinions, and also have the right to define their identity, as they have their own separate political, cultural and economical experiences.
It is important to note that some opinions shared are not reflective of collective views of an entire race or community. It is just honestly astonishing to witness that race is still a deep, painful, major and prevalent issue in South Africa, and how perhaps there needs to be more open dialogues between the two cultures so that perspective is gained, and why we should then understand the coloured community’s silence during the BLM movement.
- Published in Activism, Politics, Pop Culture, Real Life Stories
“Why Do Black People Always Feel The Need To Be Excellent, Why Can’t We Just Be Ourselves?” by Nonhle Matsebula
This is a quote abstracted from one of my favourite films of 2019, Queen and Slim.
It is such a relevant question. I felt it needed to be asked to the Black community at this time of intensification of the Black Lives Matter movement and Buy Black movement. Why are we always thriving towards excellence? What does that even mean? We see this almost everywhere, especially during events that commemorate the performance of black people in one way, shape or form. You hear them say “Black Excellence” or caption their social media posts and statuses using that phrase or hashtag. Is #BlackExcellence a good and necessary concept or does it actually erode the equality we seek?
On the other hand, we are constantly reading reports about how black people have to work twice as hard as their Caucasian counterparts to get recognized, rewarded or promoted. And this is fact all over the world. And this seems to be normalized. Recent Twitter threads by Caucasian managers show that it is a culture that black subordinates are not expected to excel and in fact should not be encouraged or supported to excel.
“Excellence is the best deterrent to racism or sexism.” Oprah Winfrey
So black excellence is a direct response to the inherent racism that black people face in all aspects of corporate or business world and beyond including in sports and the arts. Oprah Winfrey would be the first one to confirm that despite being excellent for decades as the leading talk show host in America with a global brand earning billions of dollars, her excellence has not shielded her from racism even now. I guess it is not too difficult to fathom what it means, black people thriving towards excellence in all that they do, becoming the masters of their crafts and leaders in that specific sector is not expected. But I just can’t help but think there is a negative aspect behind the term ‘black excellence’. I would hate to make a comparison between the black community and other communities because we do not all hold the same historical experience. It would seem only fair that we thrive for excellence after centuries that black communities globally have been suppressed and oppressed. It is only fair that we basically ‘yell’ into their faces that we are, in fact, thriving as a community even though it can be said that they wish we weren’t, considering all the measures that are still taken to ensure that we remain subservient to rest of the world’s communities.
Examples of the hurdles black achievers have to face are countless and can be downright discouraging. Look at Simone Biles, the American gymnast who has won more athletic awards than Usain Bolt and the likes, constantly has to face criticism because she is a black and female athlete. The same way that Serena Williams does too. So is ‘Black Excellence’ an even higher standard than excellence? To be black and excellent means we have to overcome so many more hurdles and challenges to achieve excellence, so we are doubly excellent? I believe so. Black excellence is a higher standard and should be celebrated until the playing field all over the world is such that all peoples have equal opportunity. But it is also exhausting!
But is there a negative side to this? A friend of mine who completely abhors affirmative action, who hates Black Economic Empowerment (BEE) and does not understand #BlackExcellence asks why do we feel the need to inform the rest of the world that we are more than what they expected of us, that we are doing just as great as everyone else when they have been winning for years and centuries at our expense? There just seems to be some kind of approval and validation that we need from everyone else. Why can’t we just know that we are excellent, it almost comes across as if at some moment in our journey we doubted that we are great? Excellence and greatness should be inherent in us all. For example, a successful businessman or woman simply knows that she is the greatest, a humble sense of pride, she is the G.O.A.T in her craft. It’s a deep, innate and confident feeling that she has, and she experiences it on a daily. Others know she is great because her work speaks for itself. She doesn’t need anyone else validating this, she is doing her best and sharing her best with her clients. We thrive so hard to be excellent, but how excellent are we if it’s only a fraction of our community that is doing excellent things? The problem with the idea of ‘excellence’ altogether is that it is very competitive with a very narrow funnel allowing very few to qualify as excellent, it is not one through which the majority can feel that their best is enough. It is one that celebrates and normalizes that in life there ‘winners and losers’ I doubt that we would wave the excellent term around so commonly if this were a standard thing amongst everyone in our community, because we would just be right.
It’s as if we are always on a quest to prove the world wrong and how satisfying is that? Believing that all our lives, all that we do is to make a point, why can’t we just be ourselves, do our thing, excellent or not? How gratifying is it to have to always announce #BlackExcellence? I mean heck the Jewish don’t do it, and we know the Jews run most of the global economy, they aren’t out there punting #JewishExcellence, no one else does it, and they are excellent. It’s not to say that we should only do what other communities do, no, we should go about things our own way, but just not in a way that renders the majority of our community as ‘losers’.
I guess I’m a bit wary of the fact that it may put children of the black community under unnecessary pressure, constantly thriving for excellence, to feel like they matter only when recognized by others. There are all kinds of psychological and mental health problems that arise with the pursuit of external validation. Does it mean that if you are not labeled as excellent that you are mediocre or perhaps disappointing to the community? Does it mean that your work is insignificant, if they do not deem it as excellent? That should not be the case.
Something about #BlackExcellence connotes acceptance and normalizes that the world and we ourselves as black people, consider people of African descent as less than. I really wish there was another or term we used to celebrate our progress. My argument is not a denial of the fact that people of African descent all over the world have to work twice as hard to earn what others earn, and that we don’t have equal access to opportunities that others have. Yes, we should thrive for greater heights all the time, but we do not have to do so at the cost of seeking external approval for our right to be seen as enough as we are. It’s a mentality that we should have with us at all times, we are great whether somebody chooses to recognize it or not. I am enough, I am great, period.
- Published in Activism, beauty, Entertainment, GIRL TALK, Health & Beauty, Politics, Pop Culture, Real Life Stories, Studies & School
